Heather Mills

Heather Mills, the plastic-legged golddigger who walked away with $50 million of Paul McCartney’s ‘Hey Jude‘ money, has just signed a $6 million offer from Burger King to launch a new vegetarian burger…

Our source said: “Heather is ecstatic. She believes she can change the eating habits of millions.

“She’s also being paid a lot of money and the deal will help boost her standing.”

Source: The People

I’m going to leave that whole ‘will help boost her standing’ comment alone because that is just too damn easy.  I will say, though, that even with the prosthetic leg I sometimes find myself strangely attracted to her.  You know, as long as she doesn’t smile, wear shorts, keep imitating a blow-up doll, talk, put on that ugly red lipstick, or run around the house looking for my secret safe because there’s no way I’m giving her half of my fortune like Paul McCartney did.  I worked long and hard to save that $400 up, so it will be a cold day in hell before she gets her hands on it.  I guess I’ll just hide it up a flight of stairs instead.  That should slow her down a bit.

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