Archive for the ‘Amy Winehouse’ Category

Amy Winehouse's Peeling Skin

The pain she is feeling from that is certainly far less than the pain it’s caused me just looking at it…

Amy has been wandering around St. Lucia with an unsightly burn mark on her leg, and her rep is saying it came from a cooking accident. Amy was supposedly cooking pasta for a few friends and the hot water scalded her leg.

Source:  Anything Hollywood

Oh I get it, ‘cooking pasta’.  Very clever MR. PR person.  And after she cooked it she definitely didn’t snort it up her nose, right?  Because snorting ‘pasta’ up your nose is just plain crazy.

Amy Winehouse - I'll Get You My Pretty

Couldn’t she have just found Jesus instead like everyone else does?…

The troubled singer has been writing poems about her life after being inspired by her friend, Babyshambles rocker Pete Doherty, and hopes to inspire youngsters with her literary offerings.

A source said: “Amy’s been stimulated since living in St. Lucia. She loves the chilled out atmosphere and has found it has encouraged her to write again.

“She really wants to write a children’s book one day so thought a book of poems would be great practice.”

Source:  Female First

Very inspiring indeed!  I’m sure stories about how to remove caked-up cocaine from your nostrils with a Q-tip and the proper way to brush your teeth from someone with such a devoted personal hygiene regimine will be the perfect addition to any child’s educational curriculum.  She could even do demonstrations at the schools using baby powder as a substitute and then take them on a field trip to get their own naked lady tattoos on their arms.  Parents would be cheating their children out of a tremendous amount of real-world teachings if they were to pass up this opportunity.  I can already hear the permission slips being signed as I type.

Amy Winehouse And Her Bodyguard

What a brave man…

Amy Winehouse is dating her bodyguard. The “Rehab” star has been accompanied by the security guard – known as Neville – on her holiday to St. Lucia and she has already introduced him to her friends and family.

She reportedly told them: “He makes me feel safe as he’s big and strong.”

Source:  Exposay

Yeah, he better be big and strong enough to keep his friends from kicking his ass for sleeping with Amy Winehouse.  How this woman attracts a man is beyond me.  From the drugs, infectious impetago, ugly tattoos, horrendous teeth, bruised legs, and twig like body, I’m pretty sure she’s at the opposite end of the scale of what most guys find attractive.  I actually think she’s Medusa in disguise and the second a dick is exposed in front of her she turns it to stone.  That’s the only way I figure she could get a guy hard.  I hate to say it, but it’s almost like rape.  She will never be brought to justice, though, because to admit that you had any sort of sex with Amy Winehouse is like ensuring you will never be allowed to touch another woman again.  And if you think you will be able to fool them, unfortunately for you the musty scent burned into your skin from her vagina tips them off as well.  Sorry, now quit stalling and go make friends with your hand again.

Amy Winehouse and a Horse

Here’s a picture of Amy Winehouse still infecting various objects and animals while on vacation in Saint Lucia.   I can’t help but to keep getting confused, though.  Can someone remind me which one is the horse again and what did he do to deserve this?