Archive for the ‘John Mayer’ Category

Jessie James and John Mayer

At least he can’t blame it on a lack of trying…

Singer Jessie James told the radio program that she met John Mayer in Manhattan.

“He had someone send for me [from] across the room,” Jessie James stated. “He had a bunch of girls with him and he said, ‘We should [all] go back to my apartment.’ ”

John Mayer left early to avoid the paparazzi, and when they got to Mayer’s apartment, “We were all hanging out and everyone started to gradually leave. It was just he and I at this point. I told him, ‘I need some taxi money, I’m gonna go home now.’

Source:  Stupid Celebrities

I don’t think the interesting part of this story is part where John Mayer was hitting on girls or trying to put together some sort of male fantasy orgy with a bunch of hot girls.  I think it’s the fact that she had the nerve to ask him for taxi money and then calls him out on the radio for being an asshole.  Sounds to me like she needs to quit singing and get a real job.  Can’t rely on your looks and bad personalities forever, ladies.

Demi Lovato and the priority challenged John Mayer

This whole Twitter fascination everyone has is just getting to be a bit too much for me…

Mayer wrote on his Twitter page Thursday: “I have ‘La La Land’ by @ddlovato stuck in my head. Actually, it’s not stuck. I’m choosing to sing it. B section is sophisticated.” He added to her: “You’re going to make lots of records, I can tell.”

Demi tweeted back: “THANK YOU. You’re so awesome.” And: “That is quite possibly the best compliment I’ve received in this business. Thank you so, so much….. !!!!!!”

John replied: “Welcome. Write one song at a time, never apologize for any of them, ever. From ‘Wonderland’ to Trio stuff, they’re all my kids.”

Source:  E! Online

What is he like a 7 year old girl or something.  First he breaks-up with Jennifer Aniston because he wanted to spend more time gaying it up on Twitter, and now he’s using it to tell a 16 year old Disney star that her shiteous song is great.  One of two things is going on here.  Either his penis has retracted into his abdominal cavity and is now in the beginning stages of forming a vagina, or he’s a laying the groundwork for a little ‘Lay’vato lovin’ two years from now.  I gotta admit, I’ve never heard of someone putting in so much effort to avoid pussy, well, other than Father Francis.  Whenever a girl would walk by he would make this face like he was just squirted in the eye with lemon juice and muter the word “icky” under his breath over and over again.  Now that I think about it I should have watched my back more around that guy.

The Seaman John Mayer

Over the weekend John Mayer hosted a cruise in Mexico on the “Maycercraft Carrier,” whatever that is.  Now I’m pretty sure most dryers made today come with a low heat setting, even John Mayer’s.  So I think it’s time you had a conversation with your wardrobe assistant because this form of sexual harrassment is undeniable and to the point that the visual is  causing me undue mental distress .  On that note, I’m off to the mall to buy all of the triple X shorts I can find.

According to People Magazine, the relationship between Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer has now ended.

A source reveals that, “They had some disagreements and decided to not continue to see each other. Jen is moving on with her life like she always does. She seems happy.”

A second source says Mayer broke up with Aniston after she returned from Europe.

I’m sorry, but there is no way she is happy.  She was just dumped for the second time by a 31 year old rock star while she is a 40 year old sour puss who just wants to spit some children out of her quickly deteriorating vagina.  But to be honest, I’d still hit it.